I'm not sure how it got started but there is now an entire industry devoted to the maintenance of women's pubic hair. Shave it, depilate it, make it into the shape of a moon or a heart but for the love of God, don't just let it do what it will. That's grounds for being shipped off to some hippie commune to spend the rest of your life, sprinkling wheat germ on everything and singing old Cat Stevens tunes in a circle.
I don't have these sorts of prejudices, really. I'm a live-and-let-live kinda gal, so I'm not sure how the bikini wax came to be a normal occurrence in my life. But much like my relationship to ALIAS and little debbie brownies, it's in my system now and it's no longer something I can do without.
But I realized recently that it's kind of messed up my sense of modesty. I was getting out of the shower early one morning when my roomate happened upon me in the bathroom by accident. I had cracked the door slightly to let out some steam, I put my leg up on the vanity to dry between my toes, and let's just say that if he'd had a webcam with him, Bill could be making a tidy profit in voyeuristic internet porn.
Needless to say it was very embarrassing for me. But not an hour later, I found myself forking over $20 for the privilege of having someone rip out my pubes by the root. I've known Bill nearly six years and was filled with horror at the mere idea that he might have caught a brief look at my bits, but I'll don a pair of paper panties and lay on a table like a trussed chicken for any Korean lady with a pot of wax and a popsicle stick.
Clearly I need to rethink things.
On the upside, I feel I have my head on straight about the whole employment thing. I'm still looking for a part-time job that I can do in addition to the forty hours a week I'm putting in temping so I can start saving the oodles of cash I'm going to be required to pay Actor's Equity. And in the course of the job search I ran across this:
Looking for ladies between 20-30s to come to my Friday night party and get their feet worshipped!! No nudity or any sexual services of any kind. Just a fun time making quick easy $$!!
And I only considered it for a minute.
Comments (10)
You have the most exciting life....It's good that you are on your way to getting a job....we wouldn't want you to have to stoop so low as to having to get your 'feet worshiped'... I've always wondered why there are people out there obsessed with feet. Clearly there's something I'm missing here...
Melissa
Posted by Melissa | June 2, 2005 12:34 PM
Posted on June 2, 2005 12:34
Yeah, I'm missing something major, I think. To each his own, of course, I never say never; if I get hungry enough....speaking of which, where are my chips ahoy sandwich cookies!? :) hee hee!
Posted by j.d. | June 2, 2005 1:11 PM
Posted on June 2, 2005 13:11
jessica,
You are sooo funny love you lots is the pain over with yet???
Kathy
Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2005 4:34 PM
Posted on June 2, 2005 16:34
Oh my God, Jessica! Do you suppose this foot fetish guy is the same one who has made so many obscene phone calls to me?? Remember how he wanted me to take off my shoe and feel the Porsche floor board to see if it was hot? And after a long hiatus, he called me again recently in the middle of the night to ask if he came over, would I let him smell my feet? I bet this is the same guy!! Whacha think?? As far as the pubic hair thing goes, just you wait. When you turn fifty, the old pubes begin to straighten and thin until your cooter looks like a bald eagle. The only remaining hair of any significance is resricted to the groin/upper thigh area, where you don't want it anyway. I would welcome the chance to wax down there once before I die!! I am thinking of getting a toupee. (sp??) Is there no justice?? By the way, I still don't know what a URL is!? Can anyone help me?
Posted by Auntie Janice | June 2, 2005 6:51 PM
Posted on June 2, 2005 18:51
Ah, my family. We share! We like the sharing.
No, Auntie Jan, I doubt it's the same guy. There are a lot of foot pervs out there. BTW, I don't know what URL stands for exactly but it means your web address, www dot whatever. Marcus? A more thorough explanation?
Posted by j.d. | June 2, 2005 7:37 PM
Posted on June 2, 2005 19:37
Nope. I'm not bailing you kids out this time. This isn't the old days where one would have to schlep down to the library, dig thru a card catalog, and find some dusty old microfiche for information. Google it. Enlighten us all.
Posted by Marcus | June 2, 2005 8:23 PM
Posted on June 2, 2005 20:23
Still working on the cookies....this week has been SO hectic! We are doing gazillions of projects in school, like for english we had to recite a whole sonnet on wednesday, and our poetry project is due today! Of course it's not JUST writing poetry, we had to define 35 poetic terms and find examples of each, analyze two songs, and do a three page paper on the use of poetic terms in a poem. So, needless to say, procrastinator that I am, I was up REAL late last night getting everything done....Doesn't it make you miss high school life? Hehe...
Melissa
Posted by Melissa | June 3, 2005 9:02 AM
Posted on June 3, 2005 09:02
Is it a violation of the Patriot Act to mention both Cat Stevens and good ol'American pubic hair on your website? Or is it only a violation if you let Cat Stevens shave your pubic hair after he boards the plane to Boston? If he shaves your pubic hair, and then you try to let it grow back in, can you sing "I'm Being Followed by a Moonshadow" even on an international flight?
Posted by Annie | June 12, 2005 8:16 PM
Posted on June 12, 2005 20:16
i think you are the funniest person i know...next to me...call me so i can tell you about hot man i kissed in italy :) love you...k
Posted by kimber | June 14, 2005 4:37 PM
Posted on June 14, 2005 16:37
Jessica: I just wanted to say have a GREAT summer before I left for Austria...I have it written down to bring you a t-shirt, and if we're lucky I might even find those Chips Ahoy Sandwitch cookies in German...hmm...
Melissa
ps-Check out my web site! Mwah
Posted by Melissa Rayford | June 19, 2005 4:00 PM
Posted on June 19, 2005 16:00