The Chronicles Of Jessica

For some reason, the temp agency has had barely any work for me lately, so I find myself with a lot of free time on my hands during the weekday. And since I'm not getting paid, it's not like I can just fill up the hours visiting Louis Vitton and getting pedicures.

But if you really just use your imagination you can get by just fine in new york with very little money. Already so far today I've read yesterdays paper cover to cover (hey, if Homer Villalobos can't pick up the Times by the end of the day, that's his prob), I've eaten two day-old croissants from the deli on 108th, and shared a fifth of Smirnov with the homeless guy who hangs out by the Rite Aid. Stickin' it to the man!

Maybe I should be in that show, "Rent". That was a pretty good show, I guess, but I never quite understood why they didn't just...work. I mean, I'm all for the life of the plucky artiste, but when Mike and I saw the theatrical trailer for the movie version of 'Rent' the other day at the movies, I leaned over to him and whispered, "Get a job!" We giggled. Then we got shushed.

Anyway, it looks like my friend Angela might be able to help me get a job at the bistro in midtown where she works. I know that I swore years ago that I would never wait tables again, but I also remember swearing that I was finished with carbs and that if Bush won reelection I was moving to New Zealand, so. I think we can safely say that some of the things I vow to tend to be a little premature.

Something else has been troubling me lately, though. Every time I walk by this group of guys in my neighborhood, they seem to be trying to communicate something with me that I'm not quite understanding. There are smoochy sounds involved, and something that sounds vaguely like hissing. Now, I'm not saying that these men are all of any specific nationality, but I will say that I picked up a spanish language dictionary to see if I would recognize the words for ass, thong, and three-way. Just in case.

But the thing I really find puzzling is why I'm getting this attention at all. I don't mean to downplay my considerable attractiveness (sic) but it's so humid right now that my skin beads up the minute I leave the building. Before I'm halfway down the block I look like a wilted ferret on a bad hair day! If I'm the best they can do for an ogle, the city is really going to pot.

Well, I'd better be off. I've missed "Texas Justice" already and I won't get my daily dose of tough talking daytime t.v. judges if I just keep typing willy nilly through Judge Joe Brown. He's just so stern with those wayward teens! I can't get enough!

Not to mention, it's totally free.