The Chronicles Of Jessica

I got this comment on my last blog from someone who was obviously searching for a hippie presence on the internet so that he could dampen their enthusiasm with some right-wing invective. I don't think his acknowledgement was meant to be flattery, but flatteries are few and far between these days (unless you count construction sites and hot dog vendors) and so, this is how I'm choosing to interpret it. I'm famous and have a large readership and Roger from Oregon wants to jump on my coattails. The Chronicles policy is not to discriminate in the comments, unless you are hocking Viagra, Cialis or Hydracodone. So, Roger from Oregon, your comment - misguided though it may be - shall stand. Whilst I smoke marijuana joints with members of Al Qaeda and watch my Pollyanna 30th Anniversary Edition DVD, I'll think of you.

This week has sucked with a capital suck, my friends, and I am in no way sorry to see the ass end of it. First Paul overslept by about three hours on Monday and was late for work, sending the homestead into an absolute panic (this sounds weird if you don't know that Paul has to get up at 4:30 in the morning. Yeah. He gets a medal.) Then I got lost on the way to this audition, arrived totally late and panicked and sweaty and I had to borrow fifty cents from this actor in the lobby so I could get a bottle of water since I was dying of thirst and I'd totally forgotten my wallet.

All right, that's a lie. I had my wallet. But I'll let you in on a little foible of mine - I never have cash on me. N.E.V.E.R. And it's not because I'm afraid of getting robbed, it's because everybody takes a debit card, even for a $3 latte, and it's faster and simpler to just use that for everything. You can use the debit card for train fare, you can use it at the post office, you can use it at McDonalds even. So why do you need cash? You need it for maybe three things, parking meters, vending machines, and the homeless. There is this one enterprising guy in Chinatown who accepts debit and credit for panhandling but there's a five dollar minimum.

So, Kindly Bearded Character Actor Guy, if by some chance you recognize yourself in this, thank you for the change. I didn't get the part but maybe you did, and if so, congrats. Tell them they screwed up big time by not hiring me, because I bring atmosphere. I make things fun, and I guess they just couldn't see that, could they? No, they were too busy judging me and deciding that I was a sweaty, splotchy mess. Pffft.

Then last night we were going to see a show with our friend Christine and our car died in the middle of New York Avenue in rush hour traffic. Just died. I tried to get it to turn over a few times and it just wouldn't stay on - so finally Paul and Christine had to push it off to the side of the road and we had to get someone to come and tow us. It was $75 to get them to tow us about a block and a half, and now they want $90 to run a diagnostic on the car to try and figure out why it's losing power. We offered a kind of a barter scenario, they fix the car, I hang around their dingy office and brighten the place up with some atmosphere but they said no. Some people's priorities are just completely skewed. I mean screwed. No, skewed.

Skewed.