The Chronicles Of Jessica

This entry will be random and nothing will have anything to do with anything. Consider yourself warned.

I'm sick of shaving.

This morning I was on my way to the gym (yes, before work, please praise me liberally) and I saw a dude unwrap...something - and then just throw the wrapper on the ground in front of him. When there was a garbage can three feet away. I see this all the time - and I can't explain it but it fills me with a white-hot burning rage. It really makes me want to stab them in the neck with a pencil. But I'm always afraid to say something in case the person might be unstable. If anyone has any ideas as to how I can express myself in this situation about what a complete douchebag the person is being without, like, getting shot, then please advise.

We went to register for wedding gifts recently, which was simultaneously exciting and very stressful. It's like because I'm getting married I'm supposed to just instinctively know what kind of silverware I want to use for the rest of my life.They give you this little scanner thing so you just scan the barcode to put things on the registry, and Paul keeps trying to take the scanner across the street to the Apple store to see if he can scan us some new iPods, and I have to keep dragging him back. Also we're registering for a lot of new stuff for our kitchen and I'm already stressing about where I'm going to put everything. I know this is a nice problem to have. Unfortunately you can't really register for some of the stuff you really need, like dental insurance. Or pore strips.

Or wine.

Guess what, guess what? Our friends Liz and Mark had a week of their timeshare that they couldn't use so they're giving it to us as a wedding gift. We're going to Mexico! No fooling! Of course we'll have to take 12 bottles of sunscreen and have weekly screenings with a dermatologist for six months following but who cares?!!

I love that you can kind of tell that Queen Elizabeth thinks Bush is kind of a dipshit.

Justin did some much-needed site updates for me and I really appreciate it and if you should check him out and use him if you need something designed. Also give him a shout out because he's trying to quit smoking and that is hard.

I have to say I'm starting to feel a little sorry for the smokers. Smoker pretty much equals leper, these days, and that's not exactly fair. I mean I don't want to have to breathe in someone's second-hand smoke or whatever, but give them a break. The other day I was in Delaware to see Gotch and Fallon in Henry V (they rocked, I have such talented and attractive friends) and this woman passed by the stage door afterward and they were smoking and she told them they were very good in the show but idiots for smoking. Which is a fair point. But it's not like they don't know it's stupid to smoke. It's not like you tell that to a smoker and they're going to do a double take, like - "What, wait a minute....what are you saying? This is bad for me? Holy shit, is that true? Why don't I know about this? Does everyone know? My god, I've been doing damage to my lungs??!??! (stubs out cigarette) Thank you! Thank you, ma'am, for finally having the courage to tell me what others would not!"

Though it might be funny if they did. If you're a smoker and you want that bit, you can have it. Gratis.

Anyway, if I were a smoker I think I would be starting to feel a little defensive. Where can you really go? Maybe in like Amsterdam you would still be allowed to smoke in public but in the US and A, you pretty much have the parking lot as your only designated smoking area. I feel kind of bad for them. It's too bad there's not a powerful special interest lobby looking out for smokers and making sure they still have affordable access to tobacco products.

Wait - Paul says there is. And he's in grad school for this stuff (AND got an A on his term paper - YAY!) so he would know.

Like how I worked that in there? Yeah, I'm clevs.