The Chronicles Of Jessica

I hate Ann Coulter. She is just so mean. Whether you're a Democrat or a Republican, doesn't matter - mean is mean. Elizabeth Edwards called in when she was on Hardball the other night to call her out, on some of the stuff she says, such as this little gem:

"If you want points for not using your son’s death politically, don’t you have to take down all those “Ask me about my son’s death in a horrific car accident” bumper stickers?"

That's mean. How does it help anything to say stuff like this? It's just trying to incite people and get them talking so you can try to sell more mean books. Also she looks like a skeleton.

See? Now I'm mean! She has a bad effect on the populus. I want to hire someone to sit on her until she dies. Whoa! That was really mean! I need to go look at some puppies.

The goal is supposed to be for us to keep progressing, getting smarter - moving forward and not trying to drag one another down with pointless invective. So I take back what I said about having someone sitting on her. But seeing as she hasn't backed down even an inch about being urged to raise the level of discourse, I don't want to completely give in either. What say we just get someone to slap her around a little? And make her have a sandwich.

Well, what else....Paris Hilton has been out of jail for two whole days and has she called? No. And I kept my lunch hour free all week long just in case. She swears that the world is going to see a different Paris Hilton from now on. Which I suppose could mean a fully-clothed version of herself.

I really need to get a bathing suit to wear on the cruise but I'm out of recreational drugs so I've been putting it off.

I've also decided that I look weird in glasses and that I can't handle contacts. I got new ones last week and I'm getting a headache every time I wear them for more than two hours. I really want to get my eyes lasered but every time I tell someone that they have a story about someone they know who had it horribly botched, or else the person's eye exploded when they went up in an airplane or something. Oh, also I don't have five thousand dollars. Which apparently is a surgical prerequisite.