The Chronicles Of Jessica

Charlie got released from the hospital yesterday! Thank you readers for all your good wishes and mojo. He still has some hurdles to get over, not the least of which is his Flock of Seagulls on Crack hairdo, but he is so glad to be home and my Mom is so thrilled to have him there. Huzzah!

I got a very exciting piece of acting news, which is that I will be going on at the Woolly Mammoth theatre for the last few shows of their current production, Maria Stuart. It's an understudy deal, basically, but better than your typical understudy deal because I know for a fact I'll actually get to do the role on stage in front of people who have (presumably) paid for tickets. The coolest part is that the role is a 70 year old grandmother. I don't know what this says about the state of my crows feet and I don't want to know. Suffice it to say, it's acting work, it's at one of the greatest theatres on the east coast and - let's face it - the only theatre in town that has thus far demonstrated any interest in employing me! Double huzzah.

The mister and I celebrated our first anniversary on Sunday. I can't believe it's been a whole year already, so much has happened. We picked out some of the highlights (and lowlights):

Worked on Clinton campaign
Lost Grandpa Fidalgo
Did a show at Woolly
Went two weeks without carbs
Did some standup comedy
Passed quantitative analysis (ovbiously this one is not mine)
Charlie had a stroke
Got an iPhone...and then another iPhone
Took an ill-fated cruise to the Western Caribbean
Moved
Ogled Michael Phelps
Had the flu
Went to three weddings
Sold a car
Bought a car
Hosted our first Christmas dinner
Thought for a while that one of us had a brain tumor but turned out to be wrong

Like I said, quite a year. I have no idea how we could pack anything more into 365 days but something tells me I'll be singing a different tune next year.

We went out to dinner to the Capitol Grille and spent wayyyyyy too much money. We should have known what we were in for by the "e" on the end of grill. That was a telling hint, and it blew right by us. This was no 'bar and grill'. This was a 'grille' and the prices were reflected accordingly.

We don't often go out for really nice meals, unless we're with our parents. We go out for just regular meals, but it's usually the type of place where you get unlimited tortilla chips brought to the table. Still, given that it was our very first anniversary we were prepared to pull out the stops a little. Paul ordered the filet mignon, after debating about the delmonico (neither of us really knew what the delmonico was. I had heard the term before but only knew that it referred to a type of steak, a fact which we could already gather for ourselves given that it appeared on a list below the word "steak".) But rookie that I am, I got seduced by the description of one of the specials, a baked stuffed lobster. In restaurants, I generally like to go for something I would not (or could not) make for myself, or something that Paul would never agree to eat even if I did cook it at home. In the first place there's no way a live lobster is ever entering my home as long as my husband is living in it. He thinks they look like aliens intent on destroying us, which they kind of do. But even if I were to get lobster across the threshold, I would never cook it myself and then crack it open and then stuff it. One needs a real kitchen to do that sort of thing. One needs special utensils and big pots and one of those little ramekins for melted butter. Someday I may possess these tools, but not now.

Anyway, she described this special and it sounded absolutely heavenly (which it was) but the rookie mistake was not asking about the price. The price! This is how they get you. I can't tell you how many times I get suckered into ordering the special and then practically throw up the special all over the table when the bill comes, because it turned out to cost twice as much as anything else on the menu. I could ask, of course, but I never think to. I get sucked in with their little monologue about bread crumbs and aioli and searing and stuff like that, and the next thing you know I'm slapping my beloveds face to bring him back to consciousness following his painful realization that his bride has just ingested $68 worth of lobster.

Long story short we'll be confining our dining out to Wendy's for the second year of our marriage. But the memory of that shellfish will linger on.